Okay, so I havn't posted for a couple of days, I have been a busy boy. Busy drinking, and preparing for a painful day back with the folks and eating - eating lots!
So, it was in the pipeline a couple of weeks ago that I would visit my parents back home in Shropshire - this is a big deal to me! Do not get me wrong I love my parents, they are fantastic and helped me alot and have brought me up well (i think) but going back home is traumatic for me these days! Alot happened there and I have still not quite faced up to her. I have to syke myself up for a trip to see them - they often come to see me in Birmingham now but this time they couldn't come due to their car breaking down mid week. So I syked myself up with a night of heavy drinking down the local with Jamie and some of our mates.
We started with a curry at mine with Ted and Suzi (Jamie did not say much or eat much as he was too busy gorping at Suzi) We spent the meal trying to convince Ted to come out with us but he already had plans to go out with his chess playing mates - Who knows what their idea of fun is! (He has no escape this coming Friday night though) We had a couple of beers and then headed down to the pub and met up with Rob, Jez and Claire who were already on the shots of Sambuka! Thankfully - our local is actually a cocktail bar! Result I think!
We got on the shots and by 9 oclock we were away with the drunk fairis and Jamie had already pulled for the night! Jez went at 11 and Rob at 12. By this time Jamie was in the corner of the bar with his new conquest - eating her face. Which left me and Claire at the bar drinking Sunburn cocktails! She had always had a bit of a thing for me, and I always found her quite attractive but she is a bit arrogant and a bit talky so I could never quite get to fancy her. But as you can imagine - I am not proud of this - One thing led to another and I awoke to find Claire breathing down my neck - naked in bed. Slightly shocked to say the least I jumped out of bed and went for a shower.
Showering I heard a scream - I actually could not tell if it was Ted or Ulsa - I feared the worse. Taking a towel from the rail i peered out into the corridor and to my horror I saw a naked Yeti stood at my bedroom door. I ran over to find Claire tucked up against the wall with the sheet around her - It turns out Ulsa had just opened the door to say Hello while Claire was just getting out of the bed to come and find me!
Why does everyone in my flat always seem to be in their underwear or naked?! If someone were to walk in they would mistake it for a low class illegal brothel . . . god help us! I just wish Ulsa would learn to keep her clothes on.
So to end that story, Claire and I are staying friends and "not letting it come between us" - Yeh as if that is ever going to happen, who are we kidding?! So, not only do I have a hangover I probably have many awkward moment ahead of me with Claire.
So I caught the train back home and was met at the station by my mother. I have one worry when I come home, and it is that I will pass her on the street or see them together - and I fear that it will bring me back to the stage I was when I left, and all that I have put behind me would be back again! Luckily today was a Sunday so all my other mates were still at their unis and so I did not have to risk a trip to town, or a trip out to the pub to catch up!
My Dad had a test drive in an old Civic Type R today as well so we went together and my god it was bliss - Once I sort myself with a better job I am having myself one of those! My absolute dream car - my dad did not like it though, he said it was too aggressive for him! This from a man who used to drive Road going Rally Cars - He is getting old sadly! He can be a good laugh though!
We drove past her house on the test drive and I saw her dad outside the house washing the car - this was not good and I am now moping at home again very miserable and I cannot take my mind off the past and her and what happened - I need Suzi. She will be back to watch Top Gear with me in a bit! We snuggle on the sofa every Sunday night. She is the only person who truely understands what happened and how it has all affected me. I love her to bits for that. I think without Suzi I would have killed myself.
Jesus, another depressing post! This week will be a good week full of crazy happenings I am sure! I can't wait to get into work tomorrow! Sorry the blog has become a little blue and boring!
Where is Ulsa when you need a big fat butch lesbian to scare you and lift those spirits eh?!
Sunday, 18 February 2007
Wednesday, 14 February 2007
Argh - HOLY MOTHER OF
MERCY!
Scrap the Banana - Ive just found myself face to face with Ulsa's susprisingly hairy backside in the kitchen door! I think they are having kitchen table fun!
Where is that disinfectant?!
I think I will go and play some war game with Ted and shoot all the big fat lesbians!
I am scared!
If only I was making all this up!
Scrap the Banana - Ive just found myself face to face with Ulsa's susprisingly hairy backside in the kitchen door! I think they are having kitchen table fun!
Where is that disinfectant?!
I think I will go and play some war game with Ted and shoot all the big fat lesbians!
I am scared!
If only I was making all this up!
Gonna be lonely this Valentines
Ahh a lass - this is my first Valentines day in 3 years that I am but alone - except for Ted in the other room playing chess by himself with one of those strange games where it talks back to you or something and you move for it! I keep hearing "pawn 3 forward 2" and rubbish like that! it is almost as if he is playing against Stephen Hawkins - I am sure if he was he wouldn't win! OH the life i lead!
I had work from 9 til 5 today - a shift I really diddn't want to have as it is Valentines day and I am out of love at the minute, and the shop was full of in love couples smooching and snuggling with their hot coffees and bagels! It makes me feel like complete rubbish really! I had that all but a year ago, it was fantastic but it all went pete thong and I was left running away to an unfamiliar city with all but a hot lesbian to console me - and a fat lesbian trying to console me but not getting close enough! Oh July was a funny mouth - if only it had been amusing as well!
So I spent the afternoon watching all these ladies and gents coming in out of the cold and getting warm and snuggled on the big leather sofas my boss paid so much to have installed! But there we go, it was an experience! My boss is single too, but she is in her 40s and is a complete nutter! But we all love her, she is in everyday and with out her the working day would just not be complete! Only problem is she doesnt know how to shout so if you do something wrong, you always get away with it - I am not complaining honestly!
What really got me down today was that I once again did not see the hot girl from Friday! I thought to myself that if I saw her today, on Valentines Day then it was meant to be for us to be together - god was obviously not with me today! It is not written in the stars.
SO here I am on valentines night, sat alone in my room watching nothing on TV and writing a blog! it appears that this blog has some what become a sanctuary! I public diary of sorts! When ever Ulsa is here I pop upstairs and log on, read the nice comments people have been leaving me and think of what parts of my day to divulge onto this here blogspot.com! Ulsa is here tonight actually, wooing Suzi into the bedroom with the help of a corset and suspenders! Thankfully I did not see them on her, just in her back at the bottom of the stairs! The vision in my mind was enough to bring a tear to my eye! I am still spending much of my evenings working out some kind of plan to seduce Suzi to being straight again - apperently she was once so maybe she is like one of those vise-versa hats that are blue one side and red the other and you can choose which colour you want depending on your outfit! Maybe she can be reversed! Then Ulsa would be out of my life!
Do they put special Valentine films on then? If they do I am keeping well clear! I am depressed enough as it is today! Sadly the weather was nice, almost summer like today! That just hammered another nail into my ever sive like coffin!
Ho hum I shall get back to moping! I think I will go and get a Banana actually! I am a bit peckish!
I had work from 9 til 5 today - a shift I really diddn't want to have as it is Valentines day and I am out of love at the minute, and the shop was full of in love couples smooching and snuggling with their hot coffees and bagels! It makes me feel like complete rubbish really! I had that all but a year ago, it was fantastic but it all went pete thong and I was left running away to an unfamiliar city with all but a hot lesbian to console me - and a fat lesbian trying to console me but not getting close enough! Oh July was a funny mouth - if only it had been amusing as well!
So I spent the afternoon watching all these ladies and gents coming in out of the cold and getting warm and snuggled on the big leather sofas my boss paid so much to have installed! But there we go, it was an experience! My boss is single too, but she is in her 40s and is a complete nutter! But we all love her, she is in everyday and with out her the working day would just not be complete! Only problem is she doesnt know how to shout so if you do something wrong, you always get away with it - I am not complaining honestly!
What really got me down today was that I once again did not see the hot girl from Friday! I thought to myself that if I saw her today, on Valentines Day then it was meant to be for us to be together - god was obviously not with me today! It is not written in the stars.
SO here I am on valentines night, sat alone in my room watching nothing on TV and writing a blog! it appears that this blog has some what become a sanctuary! I public diary of sorts! When ever Ulsa is here I pop upstairs and log on, read the nice comments people have been leaving me and think of what parts of my day to divulge onto this here blogspot.com! Ulsa is here tonight actually, wooing Suzi into the bedroom with the help of a corset and suspenders! Thankfully I did not see them on her, just in her back at the bottom of the stairs! The vision in my mind was enough to bring a tear to my eye! I am still spending much of my evenings working out some kind of plan to seduce Suzi to being straight again - apperently she was once so maybe she is like one of those vise-versa hats that are blue one side and red the other and you can choose which colour you want depending on your outfit! Maybe she can be reversed! Then Ulsa would be out of my life!
Do they put special Valentine films on then? If they do I am keeping well clear! I am depressed enough as it is today! Sadly the weather was nice, almost summer like today! That just hammered another nail into my ever sive like coffin!
Ho hum I shall get back to moping! I think I will go and get a Banana actually! I am a bit peckish!
Tuesday, 13 February 2007
Thank you
Thanks to everyone who has commented so far! :D Really nice to see that people are reading and enjoying! I wish my life was a bit more exciting now!
It is Tuesday night and that means MOST HAUNTED! I am still unsure if I believe in it all or not but I love watching them scream and run around like crazy people! I would love to go on one of their ghost hunts, it looks damn fun!
Actually that is one thing I have to thank Ulsa for - she is around here so much that (in her dodgy romanian accent of sorts) "i cannot stund harving dis crazy 5 channel beesness in my second home" - so now she pays for our SKY+ box - RESULT!
Her second home?! Good god that comment instills fear in the very deepest region of my bones! Please god of mercy don't let my home become her first and only home! I think vampires and demons would start rising from our front room - either from it the being the mouth to hell or simply that she has put a huge hole in the floor!
It is Tuesday night and that means MOST HAUNTED! I am still unsure if I believe in it all or not but I love watching them scream and run around like crazy people! I would love to go on one of their ghost hunts, it looks damn fun!
Actually that is one thing I have to thank Ulsa for - she is around here so much that (in her dodgy romanian accent of sorts) "i cannot stund harving dis crazy 5 channel beesness in my second home" - so now she pays for our SKY+ box - RESULT!
Her second home?! Good god that comment instills fear in the very deepest region of my bones! Please god of mercy don't let my home become her first and only home! I think vampires and demons would start rising from our front room - either from it the being the mouth to hell or simply that she has put a huge hole in the floor!
Is he? Or isn't he?
Well, I am just back from the pub after working the morning shift at the bar! Me and Jamie went for a pint to discuss the forth-coming lads night out where we intend to get Ted nicely blotto then get him to pull a female!
We decided this afternoon that before we head to the real pulling joints in town we would take him to a gay club - we have suspicions he may bat for the other team so we have to test our theory! To date he has not come out with us, it should be an interesting night! We are also going to take him back there when he is hammered to see if he fancies some sausage for dinner! To make this process less painful and more interesting for myself and Jamie we have decided that we shall play a little game - to see which of us get chatted up the most times! This could either be good fun or end in utter disaster! We shall see.
I actually have no idea how well Ted handles his drink, being a geeky chess and computer lover he probably doesn't handle it very well! I have suspicions he is an angry drunk so I hope Jamie doesn't wind him up so much that he reaches breaking point!
Again the girl from friday morning was no where to be seen, it is a little depressing really! I have a feeling I will see her again this coming Friday! Or she may have been on a one time visit to Birmingham and I may never see her again!
I dropped my bag on the train this morning, bent over to pick it up and unexpectedly I pumped - it was highly embarrassing so I moved to the next carriage and hid myself behing todays Guardian! Thank god I wasn't carrying the usual Nuts magazine to hide behind beacuse that would have been even more dreadful! Although I did buy it on the way home, no disasters there thank god!
Jamie is coming round in a little while for a quick chat with me and Ted and obviously a quick oggle at Suzi (she knows we do it - she loves it!) Speaking of dear Suzi, she was walking up the stairs topless as I walked through the door! I kicked myself - 10 seconds sooner through the door and I would have been blessed!
Who is that girl who I saw on the train?! It is driving my stir crazy this week! I even spent some time last week browsing all the 18-25yrold women in the Birmingham area on Myspace last night! Wasted a good hour of my time and I arrived to the conclusion that this woman was the devil! A beautiful devil but still a devil! Devil! Devil! Devil! Or maybe an angel in disguise?! No. a devil!
I am reading a copy og that Anonymous Lawuer book at the minute, in truth it is what inspired me to start a blog! Is anyone else, or has anyone else ever read it? I would certainly like to know what you think to it!
Suzi wants me to watch Deal or no Deal with her now or something, will write again soon!
We decided this afternoon that before we head to the real pulling joints in town we would take him to a gay club - we have suspicions he may bat for the other team so we have to test our theory! To date he has not come out with us, it should be an interesting night! We are also going to take him back there when he is hammered to see if he fancies some sausage for dinner! To make this process less painful and more interesting for myself and Jamie we have decided that we shall play a little game - to see which of us get chatted up the most times! This could either be good fun or end in utter disaster! We shall see.
I actually have no idea how well Ted handles his drink, being a geeky chess and computer lover he probably doesn't handle it very well! I have suspicions he is an angry drunk so I hope Jamie doesn't wind him up so much that he reaches breaking point!
Again the girl from friday morning was no where to be seen, it is a little depressing really! I have a feeling I will see her again this coming Friday! Or she may have been on a one time visit to Birmingham and I may never see her again!
I dropped my bag on the train this morning, bent over to pick it up and unexpectedly I pumped - it was highly embarrassing so I moved to the next carriage and hid myself behing todays Guardian! Thank god I wasn't carrying the usual Nuts magazine to hide behind beacuse that would have been even more dreadful! Although I did buy it on the way home, no disasters there thank god!
Jamie is coming round in a little while for a quick chat with me and Ted and obviously a quick oggle at Suzi (she knows we do it - she loves it!) Speaking of dear Suzi, she was walking up the stairs topless as I walked through the door! I kicked myself - 10 seconds sooner through the door and I would have been blessed!
Who is that girl who I saw on the train?! It is driving my stir crazy this week! I even spent some time last week browsing all the 18-25yrold women in the Birmingham area on Myspace last night! Wasted a good hour of my time and I arrived to the conclusion that this woman was the devil! A beautiful devil but still a devil! Devil! Devil! Devil! Or maybe an angel in disguise?! No. a devil!
I am reading a copy og that Anonymous Lawuer book at the minute, in truth it is what inspired me to start a blog! Is anyone else, or has anyone else ever read it? I would certainly like to know what you think to it!
Suzi wants me to watch Deal or no Deal with her now or something, will write again soon!
Monday, 12 February 2007
Tell me why I don't like mondays?
There was only one lump of snow remaining on my whole walk/ride to work early this morning at 8am! It was sat in a dark cold corner just before the entrance to the train station. It is quite sad really that something so white and crisp, something that fill so many with so much joy ends up in a dark secluded corner covered in muck and sludge slowly melting away into an evaporating pool of nothing . . .
ENOUGH OF THE MORBID!
. . . today was not half bad! Easy journey into work - highly dissapointed not to see the hotty from Fridays train ride but alas, I am still holding my hopes high that I will one day cross paths with her. Work was a blast because Davie wasn't in at all today - RESULT! I can't stant him really, he is a plain tosser! There are no positives about the boy! He only works part time though so I do not have to put up with his digs about my hair, stories of how many women he has slept with (lies of course) that weekend and his abligatory comments about female customers to all insundary! At least I keep my comments to myself, or discuss them with Jamie - who was back from his parents which was apperently a good laugh - If I were to spend the weekend at home with my parents it would be hell, just a bunch of reminders of the life I used to have there. Too much to take so soon after it all happened!
Sasha was in today as well which is always an occasion! There isn't a day go buy when shes working without any cups and coffee flying throught the air, often splattering unsuspecting customers with hot coffee! I am suprised we have not yet been sued an she fired! Bless her! She is 17 and at college, and was in today earning some more money as it is the half term holiday! She was depressed today as she is going to be alone at Valentines - she has just been dumped sadly but her relationships never last longer than a couple of weeks!
We all had a good laugh, suprisingly there were no customers eager for an arguement today, only one complaint when Sasha stepped on a woman toes when walking from the kitchen to the table!
Actually it was quite a bog standard Monday at work, nothing unusual to report sadly! Suzi joined me on the way home on the train, she had to sit the other side of the seats, on the other side of the isle - she often wears short dresses and low cut tops mid-winter like any nutty lesbian so I had quite a pleasant view - I couldn't help but imagine how my mood might have varied this evening if Ulsa had been sat opposite on the train - I shudder at the thought.
Ted was out at chess club - I dread to think how tedious that must be! I mean what can they possibly talk about in between the screams of "CHECK MATE" and what ever else they shout during those games - surely they don't talk about women or cars?! Computers maybe? War games? Who knows!
Good Night
ENOUGH OF THE MORBID!
. . . today was not half bad! Easy journey into work - highly dissapointed not to see the hotty from Fridays train ride but alas, I am still holding my hopes high that I will one day cross paths with her. Work was a blast because Davie wasn't in at all today - RESULT! I can't stant him really, he is a plain tosser! There are no positives about the boy! He only works part time though so I do not have to put up with his digs about my hair, stories of how many women he has slept with (lies of course) that weekend and his abligatory comments about female customers to all insundary! At least I keep my comments to myself, or discuss them with Jamie - who was back from his parents which was apperently a good laugh - If I were to spend the weekend at home with my parents it would be hell, just a bunch of reminders of the life I used to have there. Too much to take so soon after it all happened!
Sasha was in today as well which is always an occasion! There isn't a day go buy when shes working without any cups and coffee flying throught the air, often splattering unsuspecting customers with hot coffee! I am suprised we have not yet been sued an she fired! Bless her! She is 17 and at college, and was in today earning some more money as it is the half term holiday! She was depressed today as she is going to be alone at Valentines - she has just been dumped sadly but her relationships never last longer than a couple of weeks!
We all had a good laugh, suprisingly there were no customers eager for an arguement today, only one complaint when Sasha stepped on a woman toes when walking from the kitchen to the table!
Actually it was quite a bog standard Monday at work, nothing unusual to report sadly! Suzi joined me on the way home on the train, she had to sit the other side of the seats, on the other side of the isle - she often wears short dresses and low cut tops mid-winter like any nutty lesbian so I had quite a pleasant view - I couldn't help but imagine how my mood might have varied this evening if Ulsa had been sat opposite on the train - I shudder at the thought.
Ted was out at chess club - I dread to think how tedious that must be! I mean what can they possibly talk about in between the screams of "CHECK MATE" and what ever else they shout during those games - surely they don't talk about women or cars?! Computers maybe? War games? Who knows!
Good Night
Sunday, 11 February 2007
Easy Like Sunday Morning
I was singing that all today! Its been driving me mad to be honest. One of those damn songs that gets lodged in your head for hours but your have no idea why it is in there. I usually end up walking past a shop that has a song playing inside and getting that stuck in my head for the rest of the working day. But today I have literally not moved out of bed except to get food, my laptop or to help Suzi (my gorgeous lesbian flat mate) get out of the bathroom - bonus that she was just out of the shower and in a towel!
I have to tell you about Suzi! She is the bain of my life although she doesn't quite realise it! She is a fully confessed lesbian - tall, slim, long dark hair, brown eyes and is set like an Italian super model - and has a hugely fat and terribly ugly butch lover who I myself cannot stand. I just do not understand the logic to it really - she would be much better off with me! But that's life!
I am slightly obsessed with her, I dream about her, I have to put up with the intoxication of her popping through in her underwear to borrow my deodorant in the mornings etc etc its barmy! But is was a breath of fresh air finding a flat with such a beautiful girl already inhabiting it - after what happened to me back home - prompting the change of job and move to Birmingham.
So, I had to work 10-2 yesterday morning (Yesterday being Saturday - the snow had melted, so I had to work!) and following that I nipped to the supermarket and got some goodies to keep me happy for the rest of the night - I would usually be out in the city on Broad Street on a Saturday night with my best mate Jamie who works with me. We would spend the night drinking, dancing and then attempting to pull and often failing but it was always a good laugh! My other flat mate Ted never comes with us but we plan to fool him into popping out with us because we need to get him laid! That is planned for two weekends time.
Anyway, Jamie was back home with his parents so I took the bus back home (all quite uneventful - no sign of hot girl from the train to my disappointment) and entered through the front door. The house was filled with the intense and quite intolerable echo of Celine Dion's "My heart will go on" come from Ted's room. Hes not gay, just has a bloody awful taste in music. I could hear some pottering sounds coming from the kitchen - hoping it was Suzi I made my way through, opened the door and gagged.
It was Ulsa (quite ironic really considering shes as repulsive as a mouth Ulsa) stood butt naked at the sink washing up two glasses and some plates. Obviously fresh from the bedroom fun with Suzi judging by the large purple vibrator sitting on the kitchen table. I was able to stand the shock of her bottom facing me - sadly she turned when I walked in and I go an eye full of full-frontal wild bore in font of me. She smiled and greeted me with some sort of Romanian welcome and quickly made her way to the bedroom - what Suzi she's in her is beyond me. Farewell Jabba the Hutt, we shall meet again!
The rest of my evening was quite mundane! I listened to Ulsa pleasure Suzi for some time - willing it to me be in place of Ulsa. Spent some time trying to beat Ted at one of those terrible war games on the PS2 - Other than working at some boring accountants that is pretty much all Ted does with his life - I think he is fantastic though! Considering he has had sex once with an Ulsa lookalike many years ago, and has had no luck with women since (he doesn't even speak to his mum anymore) he gives some fantastic advice when I need it!
I watched some films in the front room, and sadly was joined by Ulsa who still hadn't left at 8pm that evening. She came in and immediately just changed the channel to Animal Plant - obviously checking up on her brothers and sisters in the jungle, Orangutans make for some interesting viewing. I sat through because I wouldn't dare complain in fear of being sat on! After thirty minutes or Orangutans eating each others lice she left and I had free rain of the tele, so Ted joined me and we watched Miami Vice - good film. Following that I went to bed. I miss the companionship of a women (although Ted is so camp it makes up for it) but after having my heart broken I am struggling to get back into a serious relationship.
I had no dreams, awoke at 11am this morning and have been watching rubbish on the TV ever since. Thrilled, as I am sure you are, while reading this blog, I am now hankering for some fish and chips! Time to convince Ted that it is his turn to nip to the chippy - though it is actually Ulsa's! Again, i wouldn't argue!
I have to tell you about Suzi! She is the bain of my life although she doesn't quite realise it! She is a fully confessed lesbian - tall, slim, long dark hair, brown eyes and is set like an Italian super model - and has a hugely fat and terribly ugly butch lover who I myself cannot stand. I just do not understand the logic to it really - she would be much better off with me! But that's life!
I am slightly obsessed with her, I dream about her, I have to put up with the intoxication of her popping through in her underwear to borrow my deodorant in the mornings etc etc its barmy! But is was a breath of fresh air finding a flat with such a beautiful girl already inhabiting it - after what happened to me back home - prompting the change of job and move to Birmingham.
So, I had to work 10-2 yesterday morning (Yesterday being Saturday - the snow had melted, so I had to work!) and following that I nipped to the supermarket and got some goodies to keep me happy for the rest of the night - I would usually be out in the city on Broad Street on a Saturday night with my best mate Jamie who works with me. We would spend the night drinking, dancing and then attempting to pull and often failing but it was always a good laugh! My other flat mate Ted never comes with us but we plan to fool him into popping out with us because we need to get him laid! That is planned for two weekends time.
Anyway, Jamie was back home with his parents so I took the bus back home (all quite uneventful - no sign of hot girl from the train to my disappointment) and entered through the front door. The house was filled with the intense and quite intolerable echo of Celine Dion's "My heart will go on" come from Ted's room. Hes not gay, just has a bloody awful taste in music. I could hear some pottering sounds coming from the kitchen - hoping it was Suzi I made my way through, opened the door and gagged.
It was Ulsa (quite ironic really considering shes as repulsive as a mouth Ulsa) stood butt naked at the sink washing up two glasses and some plates. Obviously fresh from the bedroom fun with Suzi judging by the large purple vibrator sitting on the kitchen table. I was able to stand the shock of her bottom facing me - sadly she turned when I walked in and I go an eye full of full-frontal wild bore in font of me. She smiled and greeted me with some sort of Romanian welcome and quickly made her way to the bedroom - what Suzi she's in her is beyond me. Farewell Jabba the Hutt, we shall meet again!
The rest of my evening was quite mundane! I listened to Ulsa pleasure Suzi for some time - willing it to me be in place of Ulsa. Spent some time trying to beat Ted at one of those terrible war games on the PS2 - Other than working at some boring accountants that is pretty much all Ted does with his life - I think he is fantastic though! Considering he has had sex once with an Ulsa lookalike many years ago, and has had no luck with women since (he doesn't even speak to his mum anymore) he gives some fantastic advice when I need it!
I watched some films in the front room, and sadly was joined by Ulsa who still hadn't left at 8pm that evening. She came in and immediately just changed the channel to Animal Plant - obviously checking up on her brothers and sisters in the jungle, Orangutans make for some interesting viewing. I sat through because I wouldn't dare complain in fear of being sat on! After thirty minutes or Orangutans eating each others lice she left and I had free rain of the tele, so Ted joined me and we watched Miami Vice - good film. Following that I went to bed. I miss the companionship of a women (although Ted is so camp it makes up for it) but after having my heart broken I am struggling to get back into a serious relationship.
I had no dreams, awoke at 11am this morning and have been watching rubbish on the TV ever since. Thrilled, as I am sure you are, while reading this blog, I am now hankering for some fish and chips! Time to convince Ted that it is his turn to nip to the chippy - though it is actually Ulsa's! Again, i wouldn't argue!
Friday, 9 February 2007
By the way
By the way, just to clear this up in the beginning. This blog has many references to coffee, coffee beans and coffee shops or "bars" - I would just like to say that I myself cannot stand the taste of coffee and so do not drink it. I just landed myself a job at a posh coffee shop in Birmingham.
Although I do like the colour of coffee . . .
Although I do like the colour of coffee . . .
Let it snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow
Some would call me a "city slicker!. I live just outside a large city and commute into work every day! Hence, some people would call me this. But there are quite a few differences which could distinguish between a city slicker and myself. Most slickers of the city have high paying posh (and albeit boring jobs), my job on the other hand is quite an exciting one as they go. Most drive fast cars and commute in them every day, I used to have a 1.2L car but now I do not. I catch a train and walk to work (trust me, it makes for a more eventful morning and evening - it is never a stroll in the park!) Most wear a posh suit and carry a briefcase full of precious documents they really shouldn't have brought out of the office the night before but felt compelled too to give that sense of danger that they lack in their cosy offices. I on the other hand do not wear a suit. A uniform of sorts but not a suit, and I carry a bagel and a copy of that weeks Nuts magazine.
I am of course not a "city slicker" . . . I am but me! Rhys Maes! This is not one of those barmy statements that "individuals" try and make, it is simply a fact of life. Lets not stereotype - each to their own and all that.
This morning walk and train journey into work was one with more events than usual. The usual is a quick jaunt down the road and round the corner to the station. I buy a bagel and Nuts magazine and hop on the 25minute train ride to Birmingham New Street. From there I get myself a drink of water and stroll through the city to get to my palace of employment (no not a typo, I really do consider it a palace!)
I work in a coffee shop (we call it a bar - but a bar it is not) and it is rather groovy! Leather and swirls of vanilla all over the show! Bloody nice environment to work in - and I spend most of my 7 days a week working in there - so I guess it is a good thing I like the decor.
Anyway, about the events. First off, my usually mundane and casual journey on the train came to a sudden jolt of adrenaline and male testosterone when the most beautiful creature in a long brown over coat, suede boots, knee length skirt, wavy brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes ended up sat just a few seats down the carriage facing me. So beautiful in fact, that it caused me to hide the Nuts magazine I was reading and the headline of "Celebrity Sex Tips" sprawled across the front page under the table - which caused a bit of a commotion and noise thus encouraging her gaze to flicker my way. With a small embarrassed smile I turned to face the window, and gazed at her reflection for the next 20minutes. It was bliss. The image has stuck with me all day now and is driving me mad. I only hope she is there again on Monday morning. I have the weekend off due to the snow. It hasn't snowed for about 7 years and now it decides to make up for it!
Still shaken from the happenings on the train I began my walk up through the city centre. I stuck close to the buildings and away from passing cars fearing a sludge festival hitting my trousers when an inconsiderate city slicker drove by, and being aware that there were a small number of folk up ahead, some on the other side of the path and some behind me. During this mass of random and quite pointless thoughts I failed to notice the path of frozen snow sludge three steps ahead of me.
There I find myself lying spread eagle on the floor with a very small amount of dignity hanging over me. I also found a middle aged women lying in a similar position next to me and slightly to my left - the dignity left now vanished! As had my nuts magazine which was quickly disolving in the sludge to my right. Hoping to my feet with gusto found me slipping slightly again and making a complete fool of myself in front of the slowly growing crowd. I help the women I had bowled over back up, apologised and made off for the coffee bar - now 5 minutes late!
Let me tell you, I am a man who likes to look good, and feels good while looking good - falling on my backside in front of a small crowd, taking an innocent pedestrian with me, and ending up with a huge wet patch of my bum cheeks - as you can imagine rather knocked my self-esteem into shatters. Not to mention a slowly disintergrating copy of Nuts with the headline "Celebrity Sex Tips" lay on the floor where I had previously fallen showing everyone around my perverted side - That was just plain torture.
I have decided from now on, I am going to purchase Nuts or Zoo on the way home from work to hopefully save on some potentially ego shattering disasters like today's slip and stumble.
I will end with potentially rhetorical question - Who was that girl on the train this morning?!
I am of course not a "city slicker" . . . I am but me! Rhys Maes! This is not one of those barmy statements that "individuals" try and make, it is simply a fact of life. Lets not stereotype - each to their own and all that.
This morning walk and train journey into work was one with more events than usual. The usual is a quick jaunt down the road and round the corner to the station. I buy a bagel and Nuts magazine and hop on the 25minute train ride to Birmingham New Street. From there I get myself a drink of water and stroll through the city to get to my palace of employment (no not a typo, I really do consider it a palace!)
I work in a coffee shop (we call it a bar - but a bar it is not) and it is rather groovy! Leather and swirls of vanilla all over the show! Bloody nice environment to work in - and I spend most of my 7 days a week working in there - so I guess it is a good thing I like the decor.
Anyway, about the events. First off, my usually mundane and casual journey on the train came to a sudden jolt of adrenaline and male testosterone when the most beautiful creature in a long brown over coat, suede boots, knee length skirt, wavy brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes ended up sat just a few seats down the carriage facing me. So beautiful in fact, that it caused me to hide the Nuts magazine I was reading and the headline of "Celebrity Sex Tips" sprawled across the front page under the table - which caused a bit of a commotion and noise thus encouraging her gaze to flicker my way. With a small embarrassed smile I turned to face the window, and gazed at her reflection for the next 20minutes. It was bliss. The image has stuck with me all day now and is driving me mad. I only hope she is there again on Monday morning. I have the weekend off due to the snow. It hasn't snowed for about 7 years and now it decides to make up for it!
Still shaken from the happenings on the train I began my walk up through the city centre. I stuck close to the buildings and away from passing cars fearing a sludge festival hitting my trousers when an inconsiderate city slicker drove by, and being aware that there were a small number of folk up ahead, some on the other side of the path and some behind me. During this mass of random and quite pointless thoughts I failed to notice the path of frozen snow sludge three steps ahead of me.
There I find myself lying spread eagle on the floor with a very small amount of dignity hanging over me. I also found a middle aged women lying in a similar position next to me and slightly to my left - the dignity left now vanished! As had my nuts magazine which was quickly disolving in the sludge to my right. Hoping to my feet with gusto found me slipping slightly again and making a complete fool of myself in front of the slowly growing crowd. I help the women I had bowled over back up, apologised and made off for the coffee bar - now 5 minutes late!
Let me tell you, I am a man who likes to look good, and feels good while looking good - falling on my backside in front of a small crowd, taking an innocent pedestrian with me, and ending up with a huge wet patch of my bum cheeks - as you can imagine rather knocked my self-esteem into shatters. Not to mention a slowly disintergrating copy of Nuts with the headline "Celebrity Sex Tips" lay on the floor where I had previously fallen showing everyone around my perverted side - That was just plain torture.
I have decided from now on, I am going to purchase Nuts or Zoo on the way home from work to hopefully save on some potentially ego shattering disasters like today's slip and stumble.
I will end with potentially rhetorical question - Who was that girl on the train this morning?!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)