Easy Like Sunday Morning

I was singing that all today! Its been driving me mad to be honest. One of those damn songs that gets lodged in your head for hours but your have no idea why it is in there. I usually end up walking past a shop that has a song playing inside and getting that stuck in my head for the rest of the working day. But today I have literally not moved out of bed except to get food, my laptop or to help Suzi (my gorgeous lesbian flat mate) get out of the bathroom - bonus that she was just out of the shower and in a towel!

I have to tell you about Suzi! She is the bain of my life although she doesn't quite realise it! She is a fully confessed lesbian - tall, slim, long dark hair, brown eyes and is set like an Italian super model - and has a hugely fat and terribly ugly butch lover who I myself cannot stand. I just do not understand the logic to it really - she would be much better off with me! But that's life!

I am slightly obsessed with her, I dream about her, I have to put up with the intoxication of her popping through in her underwear to borrow my deodorant in the mornings etc etc its barmy! But is was a breath of fresh air finding a flat with such a beautiful girl already inhabiting it - after what happened to me back home - prompting the change of job and move to Birmingham.

So, I had to work 10-2 yesterday morning (Yesterday being Saturday - the snow had melted, so I had to work!) and following that I nipped to the supermarket and got some goodies to keep me happy for the rest of the night - I would usually be out in the city on Broad Street on a Saturday night with my best mate Jamie who works with me. We would spend the night drinking, dancing and then attempting to pull and often failing but it was always a good laugh! My other flat mate Ted never comes with us but we plan to fool him into popping out with us because we need to get him laid! That is planned for two weekends time.

Anyway, Jamie was back home with his parents so I took the bus back home (all quite uneventful - no sign of hot girl from the train to my disappointment) and entered through the front door. The house was filled with the intense and quite intolerable echo of Celine Dion's "My heart will go on" come from Ted's room. Hes not gay, just has a bloody awful taste in music. I could hear some pottering sounds coming from the kitchen - hoping it was Suzi I made my way through, opened the door and gagged.

It was Ulsa (quite ironic really considering shes as repulsive as a mouth Ulsa) stood butt naked at the sink washing up two glasses and some plates. Obviously fresh from the bedroom fun with Suzi judging by the large purple vibrator sitting on the kitchen table. I was able to stand the shock of her bottom facing me - sadly she turned when I walked in and I go an eye full of full-frontal wild bore in font of me. She smiled and greeted me with some sort of Romanian welcome and quickly made her way to the bedroom - what Suzi she's in her is beyond me. Farewell Jabba the Hutt, we shall meet again!

The rest of my evening was quite mundane! I listened to Ulsa pleasure Suzi for some time - willing it to me be in place of Ulsa. Spent some time trying to beat Ted at one of those terrible war games on the PS2 - Other than working at some boring accountants that is pretty much all Ted does with his life - I think he is fantastic though! Considering he has had sex once with an Ulsa lookalike many years ago, and has had no luck with women since (he doesn't even speak to his mum anymore) he gives some fantastic advice when I need it!

I watched some films in the front room, and sadly was joined by Ulsa who still hadn't left at 8pm that evening. She came in and immediately just changed the channel to Animal Plant - obviously checking up on her brothers and sisters in the jungle, Orangutans make for some interesting viewing. I sat through because I wouldn't dare complain in fear of being sat on! After thirty minutes or Orangutans eating each others lice she left and I had free rain of the tele, so Ted joined me and we watched Miami Vice - good film. Following that I went to bed. I miss the companionship of a women (although Ted is so camp it makes up for it) but after having my heart broken I am struggling to get back into a serious relationship.

I had no dreams, awoke at 11am this morning and have been watching rubbish on the TV ever since. Thrilled, as I am sure you are, while reading this blog, I am now hankering for some fish and chips! Time to convince Ted that it is his turn to nip to the chippy - though it is actually Ulsa's! Again, i wouldn't argue!