Let it snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow

Some would call me a "city slicker!. I live just outside a large city and commute into work every day! Hence, some people would call me this. But there are quite a few differences which could distinguish between a city slicker and myself. Most slickers of the city have high paying posh (and albeit boring jobs), my job on the other hand is quite an exciting one as they go. Most drive fast cars and commute in them every day, I used to have a 1.2L car but now I do not. I catch a train and walk to work (trust me, it makes for a more eventful morning and evening - it is never a stroll in the park!) Most wear a posh suit and carry a briefcase full of precious documents they really shouldn't have brought out of the office the night before but felt compelled too to give that sense of danger that they lack in their cosy offices. I on the other hand do not wear a suit. A uniform of sorts but not a suit, and I carry a bagel and a copy of that weeks Nuts magazine.

I am of course not a "city slicker" . . . I am but me! Rhys Maes! This is not one of those barmy statements that "individuals" try and make, it is simply a fact of life. Lets not stereotype - each to their own and all that.

This morning walk and train journey into work was one with more events than usual. The usual is a quick jaunt down the road and round the corner to the station. I buy a bagel and Nuts magazine and hop on the 25minute train ride to Birmingham New Street. From there I get myself a drink of water and stroll through the city to get to my palace of employment (no not a typo, I really do consider it a palace!)

I work in a coffee shop (we call it a bar - but a bar it is not) and it is rather groovy! Leather and swirls of vanilla all over the show! Bloody nice environment to work in - and I spend most of my 7 days a week working in there - so I guess it is a good thing I like the decor.

Anyway, about the events. First off, my usually mundane and casual journey on the train came to a sudden jolt of adrenaline and male testosterone when the most beautiful creature in a long brown over coat, suede boots, knee length skirt, wavy brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes ended up sat just a few seats down the carriage facing me. So beautiful in fact, that it caused me to hide the Nuts magazine I was reading and the headline of "Celebrity Sex Tips" sprawled across the front page under the table - which caused a bit of a commotion and noise thus encouraging her gaze to flicker my way. With a small embarrassed smile I turned to face the window, and gazed at her reflection for the next 20minutes. It was bliss. The image has stuck with me all day now and is driving me mad. I only hope she is there again on Monday morning. I have the weekend off due to the snow. It hasn't snowed for about 7 years and now it decides to make up for it!

Still shaken from the happenings on the train I began my walk up through the city centre. I stuck close to the buildings and away from passing cars fearing a sludge festival hitting my trousers when an inconsiderate city slicker drove by, and being aware that there were a small number of folk up ahead, some on the other side of the path and some behind me. During this mass of random and quite pointless thoughts I failed to notice the path of frozen snow sludge three steps ahead of me.

There I find myself lying spread eagle on the floor with a very small amount of dignity hanging over me. I also found a middle aged women lying in a similar position next to me and slightly to my left - the dignity left now vanished! As had my nuts magazine which was quickly disolving in the sludge to my right. Hoping to my feet with gusto found me slipping slightly again and making a complete fool of myself in front of the slowly growing crowd. I help the women I had bowled over back up, apologised and made off for the coffee bar - now 5 minutes late!

Let me tell you, I am a man who likes to look good, and feels good while looking good - falling on my backside in front of a small crowd, taking an innocent pedestrian with me, and ending up with a huge wet patch of my bum cheeks - as you can imagine rather knocked my self-esteem into shatters. Not to mention a slowly disintergrating copy of Nuts with the headline "Celebrity Sex Tips" lay on the floor where I had previously fallen showing everyone around my perverted side - That was just plain torture.

I have decided from now on, I am going to purchase Nuts or Zoo on the way home from work to hopefully save on some potentially ego shattering disasters like today's slip and stumble.

I will end with potentially rhetorical question - Who was that girl on the train this morning?!